Monday, January 17, 2011
Best memory of 2010
I was extremely busy getting ready for Kai to be born. My head began to hurt so badly that I couldn't do anything at work. It was the first time I ever wanted to leave work early because of illness.
That night, when I got home, Katy went into labor. It was a week before Kai's due date, so there were a lot things I'd hoped to finish that didn't get done, including a huge paper for my master's program that was due soon (a constant weight on my shoulders).
The birth went well, but was still very stressful for me. Our stay at the hospital really nice. However, since Katy and the nurses did everything, I left the hospital without any experience or much confidence as a father. We also didn't sleep much during that time because Katy had to get up and feed Kai every couple hours.
Driving home with Kai in the car for the first time, through the snow, was very stressful. Then, changing his diapers and giving him a bath while he cried so helplessly, left my heart pounding. I felt exhausted, completely overwhelmed, and there were still urgent things that I was in no condition to do nor I didn't have time to do them. It was at this time that my favorite memory happened.
My best memory:
The lights were dimmed. We were sitting on the sofa after Kai's bath. Kai fell asleep on my chest for the first time. I could feel his warm tiny body completely relax. I listened to his peaceful breathing. At that exact moment, ALL my stress left me. I knew that I could be a good dad. I knew that both of us would be okay from then on. I knew that everything else that needed done would get done in time. It was an incredible feeling.
Kai, asleep on my chest, continues to be a magical experience for me. He reassures me that everything in the world is well. That specific feeling is my best memory from 2010.